


Ingratiating

by TheProxie



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, i tried to keep this as weird as the show was without getting too weird, just random fluff?, reader is a thirsy intern, they want the membrane, who works at the membrane labs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 00:43:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20322259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheProxie/pseuds/TheProxie
Summary: Reader is an intern at Membrane Lab's and can't admit it that they only work there strictly to be near Membrane himself. Well with all the shit that happens that day, they have to finally come to terms with their thirst for the Man of Science himself.





	Ingratiating

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed that there isn't any fanfiction for him so I decided to be the first. I plan on making more, some with not so happy-ish endings and others just as weird. I wrote this at 1am so excuse the mistakes  
I just need something for this science man  
enjoy  
for science

No, you do not have any feelings for anyone, especially for the Man Of Science himself. You only applied as an intern at Membrane labs because it was a great opportunity and a promising job of money, not because this internship was incredibly close to the actuals labs Membrane himself worked at. 

Sure, you weren’t incredibly invested in the field of science and the thought of complex equations made your head hurt, but hey no other job was going to pay you above minimum wage. Ignore the fact that you got to regularly see Membrane, er, your boss. 

Wearing the mandatory science outfit of a white lab coat and rubber boots n’ gloves along with a pair of highly expensive and technologically advanced goggles, you were ready for work.

Last time you questioned the reason for your outfit despite the fact that you didn’t actually do any science, you were answered with garbled yelling from a scientist who couldn’t stop fiddling with a machine that only produced the most perfect grilled cheese sandwiches you had ever seen. Not only did you not get an answer, you also questioned the funding to projects in this building.

The front doors to Membrane labs were empty, only a sparse amount of workers standing idly by as they chatted to floated screens in front of them. You are not authorized to have such technology, so you stuck with your goggles that only allowed basic access to the building. Entering the building, you were greeted with the usual waft of sterilized marble and metal. Cringing, you walked over to the elevator and pressed the button and waited. 

Suddenly, your goggles began to glitch and shut off with a bright spark, causing you to yelp and snatch them off your eyes. You held them sadly in your hands.  
“Aw man, this is my only pair.” Partly true. You were assigned one every few months as they were consistently updated. You thought it was a waste to replace the whole device instead of just updating the old model, but who are you to judge. 

You huffed and fiddled with the pair as the elevator doors opened. Stepping inside you didn’t notice the man walking in with you. Silently he watched you try to turn on the goggles. After another angry shake you groaned and went to slip them in your pocket.

“Here, allow me.” 

Membrane’s deep voice caused your heart to jump. As his hands grazed over yours to grab the goggles, you could feel your stomach become non-existent as your breathing became shallow. You looked down quickly as you gave out a meek ‘thank you.’ 

He began his usual science babble as he continued to expertly maneuver the device with continuous beeps coming from it. Dear god why did he have to give you a mini heart attack every time you saw him. Surely you would be used to his presence by now. You could feel your body go hot as he looked down at you.

“And that is why we won’t be putting Richard in charge of the replacement of these, this is unexceptable!” His booming voice made you nod on instinct. He handed you the goggles. You swallowed hard. He leaned down with a ‘hmm’. You looked anywhere but at his face. 

“You seem unwell Intern. Could it be that the Outris Outbreak got to you as well?” 

*DING*

“Never mind! I have to get going and fire a careless man! You get going to your science-filled day as well Intern!” He happily said as he strutted out of the elevator. 

You slid down the wall of the elevator and exhaled deeply. No of course you don’t have any feelings towards him. Everyone is intimidated by their hot boss- NO, NOT HOT.   
Shaking your head, you got up and quickly left the elevator, pushing an unsuspecting intern holding coffee. The screams of the victim were enough to drown out the thudding of your heart at the thought of your boss.

~Later~

God finally, it’s lunch. You pushed away from the cold desk and left the quarantine zone and walked back to heavily crowded elevators. Lunch break was the only time anyone was allowed out of their lab coats, but only if they were close by in case of a major accident that seemed to happen a lot lately. You wondered how this place was even allowed to stay in business.

Right on cue, various screams echoed through the hallway to the left as you and many others exited the elevators. Apparently a robot went hay-wire and began to paddle various scientists with a table. You snickered at the thought of it as you entered the cafeteria. This was the only area in the building you could actually relax in as everyone dropped their scientist act and did whatever they wanted for 30 minutes. 

Just as you had taken off your lab coat, some random persona tripped and dropped their tray on the floor. You froze and sighed in relief as you realized nothing got on you. Thank god. You just wanted to eat and relax before going back into that dark lab. Turning around you slammed into someone and became covered in tomato sauce.

“GODDAMMIT.” You both yelled and glared into each other’s eyes before stomping out of the cafeteria. Three androids came gliding into the room to clean the messes that began to arise in the room but for some odd reason ignored you. You stared in bewilderment as the bots began to clean the other people. 

“Excuse me? I need to be cleaned as well.” You barely hid the annoyance in your voice as you tried to grab the attention of the androids. Ignored. 

You groaned and again walked out to the nearest map booth to see where the nearest bathroom. Three floors up. Why. What even is this place. You rolled your eyes and noticed that almost ten minutes have been used up. Instead of debating whether or not you wanted to eat or be cleaned, you already chose the latter option and rushed for the nearest elevator. 

It took you ten minutes to get pass various groups of people and finally exit to the third floor. The white hallway was empty and had multiple doors leading to bathrooms. Was this whole floor dedicated to bathrooms? Oh well, might as well get cleaned and get a ‘grab n’ go’ lunch before it’s too late.

You cleaned the soup off of you but were still salty over the fact that your blue shirt was now an ugly muddy color due to the soup. Close enough. You left the bathroom only to bump into someone.   
“Excuse me! I’ve had a shit time already so don’t go-” Your angry words caught in your throat as you stumbled back to see your boss. Shit. 

“Well you seem to be more soupy than usual today.” He spoke, seeming to ignore your comment as he pulled out a black box. You could feel your face become unbearably hot despite his odd comment. “But you are in luck as I have created this new machine that takes out all dirt n’ grime seconds after the mess has stained the clothes of the victim!” He raised the box in the air as he explained. You could only watch awkwardly as he put his arm down and pressed the top of the box. It exploded into a small rotating robot which glowed a green hue. “I call it the ‘Expurgator’ and would love it if you would become the first test subject for it.”

You are only allowing yourself to be the first test run for it because he is your boss, not because you have any deeper feelings for him. I mean, could you imagine? You scoffed at the thought as you nodded in agreement. He happily exclaimed as the robot jumped from his hand and began to crawl around your shirt like a spider, leaving a dewy substance behind it. The coldness from the goo helped yourself come down from the heat Membrane caused you to exude. 

“Marvelous, it’s working just how I wanted it to! I mean of course it did, it is my invention after all.” He muttered to himself as he watched the machine work.  
You giggled at the comment, feeling your heart go light at the absurdity of his self-praise. Unknown to you, he quirked a brow at your reaction and noted it for later. What for? Who knows, it is Membrane after all. 

Suddenly the robot stopped and glowed red. You both watched as the cold goo began to crystallize before suddenly heating and evaporating, taking the soup stains with it. You gawked in amazement as the robot jumped back into Membrane’s hand. Before you could stop yourself, the words spewed from your mouth.  
“That was amazing! How did it-”

“WORKERS IN SECTION C, REPORT BACK TO WORK. LUNCH BREAK HAS ENDED.”

You stopped in the middle of your comment as the speaker shot you back into reality. Shit, you didn’t get to eat. Without finishing your sentence or thanking Membrane for his help, you dashed down the hallway and jumped into the elevator. Slapping your forehead and groaning, you smacked your head on the wall above the elevator buttons. Of course it was just your luck to be swooned by Membrane’s latest technological advancement, causing you to miss lunch. Your stomach growled.

I’ll just have to steal someone else’s meal, you thought as you shuffled your lab coat back on.

~Later again~

Various scientists argued around you about the germs they were working with, ignoring your existence entirely. Whoo-hoo. This was your chance to dip out to get a snack from the vending machine.

No, no no no. Why.

Your quick steps to the vending machine slowly got slower until you stopped just a couple steps from the machine. Of course he was here. Was today some kind of curse? Even if you did have feelings for him, you only saw him maybe once a day from a few odd feet away but never this frequently. 

Whatever, it’s fine, you’ll just leave and come back later.

“Oh good! Intern! I need your help this.” He beckoned you over without even looking at you. Wait, how did he know? Ignoring the lack of logic and just accepting this small chance of closeness to Membrane despite not wanting to be near him to keep yourself from having a heart attack. 

“What can I do for you sir?” You were surprised at the smallness of your voice, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“I’m trying to pick a snack to bring back for my daughter tonight. She made her first in school friend, so this needs to be a snack that reflects that. But,” He placed a hand under his chin as he stared at it. Or, was it his chin? You caught yourself staring and looked away, deciding to ignore the large cone that hid half of his face. 

“But what sir?” You questioned, hoping to make this meeting quick. 

“None of these snacks are good enough for her! Look ,this one is filled to the brim with sugar while this one has no flavor what-so-ever! How can any of this food reflect the accomplishment she has made?” He shook the box in frustration before sighing and slicking his large scythe like hair back. If it weren’t for the absurdity of the situation, you would of been awed at his deep care for his daughter. Damn a hottie and a lovely father- No you stop that.

“Well, you could always just have someone go and get you a specific snack for you before you have to leave work.” You quickly spoke to stop those thoughts from spreading through your head. It seemed to be the right answer as he turned to look at you and agree.

“You’re right! Intern, I need you to get ‘Crazy stuffed Bloatyz pizza bread before I leave in,” He paused and looked past you, his goggles changing color to tell him the time,” one hour.” He turned away and left you alone in the hallway.

Well, that didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to. You could hear the yells of the other scientists in the lab you abandoned, so you took this chance to leave and catch a break as you went to run this weirdly nice errand.

~Wow, Later again~

After standing in line for awhile in the musky and loud pizza place, it gave you time to reflect on everything that happened today. Every time you thought of Membrane, you knew you felt something for him. Admiration? Love? Lust? No, maybe just a small mix of the three. But it doesn’t matter, he’s your boss and you can not do anything with your feelings aside from keeping them to yourself.  
After ordering and immediately getting the food seconds after you, you hastily left the building and stared at the slowly darkening sky.

“Go to him! He needs to know the truth! You can not hide it any longer!” An old lady wailed in your face, shaking your arm. She kept repeating the words as you finally shook her off and jumped into a nearby taxi. 

Maybe it was the near toxic fumes of the bubbling fresh pizza or your desperate need for an excuse but you let the woman’s words burn in your mind. Okay maybe, maybe you can find a way to finalize your feelings for your boss to put it at rest. You just have to think of the right excuse. 

The taxi pulled up the Membrane Labs. Hmmm. You pondered as you walked into the building with the greasy box in hand. You continued to think as you silently waited in the crowded elevator. Courage began to course through you as you walked, no strutted down the hallway of the seventh floor. You knew what to do, but all that was left was you. Would you do it? You put your key card to the scanner, making the door slide open. I mean, are you gonna really do it? You grinned slowly as you realized you and him were the only one’s in his lab. 

“Professor Membrane, your daughter’s reward.” You held the box up slightly as you waited for the man of science to turn around. 

“Oh just in time! I have exactly ten minutes to return home! Well done Intern, you’ve just cemented your placement in this lab. Starting now, you are officially an employee at Membrane Labs.” He seemed more happy at this achievement as he typed into a small tablet that changed your status. You grinned and took off your goggles and inhaled slowly. It's now or never.

“Sir, as my first project as a new er, scientist, I would like it if you could help me.” Suddenly your limbs began to feel numb. He set the pizza box aside as he walked towards you.

“I’m always happy to help any advancements in the field of science and I suppose I do owe you after I used you for my experiment. What do you want me to do?”

You smiled at his sincerity and finally looked him in the face.

“I’m doing a project on the bodies reaction to subtle touches and I need you to kiss me.” Silence ate the room as you spoke. He didn’t breathe. “For science, of course, strictly speaking.” You spoke in false confidence. Dear god this is the dumbest idea you have ever had before.

“For science.” He mumbled back before unclipping the top button of his coat, revealing the rest of his face.  
Oh my god your dumb plan is working, holy shit. Thank you random force of strangeness.

Your stomach was alite with butterflies as you finally saw the face of the man you had been silently pining after. His square jaw was clean shaven and normal. Of course it was. But you could only stare at his lips which seemed to get closer every second.

This is really and finally happening. How is this happening? Can ‘For the sake of science’ be an excuse for everything? Your mind raced to find an answer for all of this as your nose brushed with his. Why question it when it is finally happening.

You closed your eyes as your faces finally connected. If it weren’t for the man you were kissing, you would have laughed after realizing that he doesn’t know how to kiss. That thought of laughter was soon dashed as he became determined to find out how to do it correctly, for science of course. 

He pressed in deeper, shocking you at his sudden need to keep the kiss going. You held back a moan that threatened to escape. Despite wanting to keep this going, you felt like you were going to faint. You broke off the kiss and hastily grabbed the small tablet from your lab coat to look like you were taking notes. How did an intern like you get to have a moment like this with the Man of Science? 

“I thank you, uh, Professor for helping me with my study. To further this study, could I get your reaction on this?” You tried to keep your voice from shaking and force a straight face. Slightly disheartened at the lack of his face, he had put his lab coat back up to hide behind. He stared at you silently for a few seconds before answering.

“Ingratiating.” He answered and grabbed the box and left the room.

You blinked and quickly sat down. After sitting in silence in quiet glee for a few minutes you hastily googled ‘Ingratiating’. 

You grinned.

Maybe you will have more interactions with Membrane, ‘for science.’


End file.
